Vivek Ramaswamy is lost. He’s scared. He rapped an Eminem song to a crowd of faith and flag conservatives, unaware the demographic he’s trying to appease views hip-hop as a breeding ground for gangsters...

On October 31, 2023, the fate of Dibuya Valley High School (DVHS) Senior Lin Somnya, 17, was sealed in what would be dubbed the “Dibuya Incident”: she was expelled from her school due to her unobtainable...

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire After an uptick in concerning student searches, the PR team of Securely has released a statement detailing new protective measures designed to maintain a healthy...

A team of San Ramon researchers have recently made a monumental breakthrough in the field of genetic engineering. The long standing dream of creating the perfect human is finally a reality, and they will...

Current time: 1:31am. To-do: ☐ no zzz’s ☐ write satire piece ☐ plan tomorrow’s tasks Sleep. What even is that anyways? I haven’t slept since the start of high school. I mean, why...

Dear Reader,  Imagine being 80 years old, comfortably seated in a retirement home, engaged in a spirited game of Scrabble with your dear friends. Suddenly, a groundbreaking idea surges through your...

My name is Gerald Whitman, I am 56 years old, and I refuse to watch “The Little Mermaid”—but not because she’s black or anything. I don’t hold the prejudices you think I do and I’m offended...

Being a teenage girl is rough. When I meet someone new and tell them my favorite artist is Taylor Swift, I can see the spark in their eyes go out. It’s worse than mere disappointment – I can actively...