The Wildcat Tribune

A day in the life of a Dougherty student

Anika Garg, Harshita Neralla, and Steven Deng

March 12, 2020

4:45 a.m. Wake up for morning practice. Grind never stops.  7:00 a.m. Go home, exhausted after an intense practice, while you eat your College Board-subsidized cereal. Before you leave, you stand in front of your bookshelf and pray to your Princeton Review Prep Book gods for an A on your AP Bio FRQ....

Millions protest in first annual Boomer March

Vivian Kuang, Public Relations Editor

January 4, 2020

In one of the biggest demonstrations in the U.S. since the Women’s March, 2.2 million protestors took to the streets on Dec. 15 to participate in the Boomer March for elder rights. Boomer Marches took place in over 30 major American cities, from Los Angeles to Chicago to Washington D.C., taking the fig...

12 days of gift giving

Mahika Arya, Lauren Chen, and Shruthi Narayanan

December 21, 2019

Day 1: An industrial sized box of tissues and a punching bag. It’s high school, you’ll probably need at least one of these things at some point.   Day 2: Make your friends trendy by giving them a makeover. Convert them into an e-boy/vsco-girl, complete with eyeliner hearts and dark, edgy ...

Things we wish we could satirize (but can’t, because they’re real)

Vivian Kuang, Lauren Chen, and Drishti Upadhyaya

December 20, 2019

NBC Miami: “Southwest Florida Man Caught on Camera Breaking Into Cars as Pants Fall Down” “Victims say the man was able to get away with spare change, pills and a lighter from the cars he got into — but sadly, did not find a belt for his pants.” CNN: “A Man Was Shot to Death by the Handmade Device He Made to Pr...

Boss Baby takes action

Boss Baby takes action

Sumukh Cadpakar

May 19, 2019

Taking shots at former vice president and 2020 contender Joe Biden, Trump said, “They are all making me look young both in terms of age and, I think, in terms of energy ... I think you people know that better than anybody ... I am a young, vibrant man. I look at Joe, I don’t know about hi...

Kim Jong Un wins big at the Oscars

Kim Jong Un wins big at the Oscars

Sumukh Cadpakar

March 18, 2019

Tech companies write an open letter to alleviate your unfounded fears

Oce Bohra, Copy Editor

November 23, 2018

Tech companies have faced a lot of flak recently, but here’s their take on why all that criticism is unfounded.

The true horror this Halloween

The true horror this Halloween

Sheyda Ladjevardi, Photography Editor

November 1, 2018

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you might want to sit down for this. I know that it can be difficult to break certain habits, and this will be no exception, but I think it’s time for you to know this: Stranger Things will not be released this fall. Now before you start rolling yourself into a...

The perks of being alone on Valentine’s Day

Caroline Lobel, Editor in Chief

March 8, 2018

“I am alone by choice,” says local man, covered in cheese puffs, ice cream and tears. “I could get a date at any time.” he claims, wearing a “Women Belong in the Kitchen” t-shirt. Every year, millions of Americans spend Valentine’s Day by themselves, and it’s highly likely you’...

Valentine’s Playlist

Elisa Fang, Editor-in-Chief

March 8, 2018

Creep When you invite your S.O. over to your home for the first time, this song is your best bet at setting the mood and paving the path for the progression of your relationship. Let them know that you're into really, really, really good music and stare deeply into their eyes so that fact really settle...

Things our editor wanted to satirize but can’t because they’re real

All of the stories in this column are entirely true

November 30, 2017

Liberals can’t believe that one of their presidents, Bill Clinton, was a purported sex offender as well. - The Atlantic (Caitlin Flanagan)   “Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his fr...

The official student news site of Dougherty Valley High School.
Satire