The official student news site of Dougherty Valley High School.

The Wildcat Tribune

The official student news site of Dougherty Valley High School.

The Wildcat Tribune

The official student news site of Dougherty Valley High School.

The Wildcat Tribune

Pranav Patel-Singh with his app, SelfBetter. // OpenAI’s DALL-E.

Subject to Change: SelfBetter, the app that is now illegal

Srishreya (Shreya) Arunsaravanakumar, Opinions Editor March 26, 2024

In a world obsessed with constant improvement, where achieving your best self is a societal mandate, one app stands out from the plethora of self-help nonsense. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the age...

The International Space Station continues to fall. // Getty Images

Rescue efforts intensify as the International Space Station misses the Earth yet again

David Zhang, Staff Writer March 26, 2024

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. An optimistic statement from NASA on Tuesday was the latest in a series of false announcements claiming that the space station was on an Earth-bound trajectory....

Clasp Variants

Clasp Variants

Nina Stadermann, Staff Writer March 26, 2024

“Skibidi toilet” originates from a youtube web-series about a toilet that takes over the world.

A comprehensive guide to Gen Alpha slang

Neetra Chakraborty, Art & Graphics Editor March 26, 2024

It happened at a Christmas party.  A family friend showed me a chic new outfit they had planned for winter. I responded, saying that it was a “slay,” which many will recognize as meaning that the...

Cops confused as to whether or not the Oompa Loompas’ orange faces are enough to classify them as suspicious persons of color.

Willy Wonka Under Fire for Toxic Work Environment

Kush Rajesh, Staff Writer March 26, 2024

January 4th, 2024 marks the fifth child to drown in the chocolate river within the walls of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Once considered to be a place of hope where whimsicality was fostered and...

Brainiac questions life choices over a can of Pepsi.

Dougherty Valley student suffers from social isolation after finals

Andy Mei, Arts and Entertainment Editor February 20, 2024

In a shocking turn of events at Dougherty Valley High School, a once-promising student has practically vanished from the face of the Earth, locking himself up in his room over the course of dead week to...

The double-double doors at Dougherty don’t do a good job at letting people in-n-out.

Lock doors into the history books

William Zhao, Staff Writer January 22, 2024

Doors at Dougherty are a design disaster. They certainly are a staple of engineering, but in many cases, they should be scrapped entirely. The double doors that front the classroom buildings are so...

Vivek Ramaswamy, seen here dropping the heartbreaking news to a toddler that he’s got their nose.

Vivek Ramaswamy Drops Out of Presidential Election, Runs for DVHS Student Council

Kush Rajesh, Staff Writer December 17, 2023

Vivek Ramaswamy is lost. He’s scared. He rapped an Eminem song to a crowd of faith and flag conservatives, unaware the demographic he’s trying to appease views hip-hop as a breeding ground for gangsters...

Alphabet Soup

Nina Stadermann, Staff Writer December 16, 2023

DVHS Senior Lin Somnya Expelled Over Sleeping More Than 3 Hours A Day

DVHS Senior Lin Somnya Expelled Over Sleeping More Than 3 Hours A Day

Leo Xiao, Staff Writer December 15, 2023

On October 31, 2023, the fate of Dibuya Valley High School (DVHS) Senior Lin Somnya, 17, was sealed in what would be dubbed the “Dibuya Incident”: she was expelled from her school due to her unobtainable...

A student peers at her laptop in despair as Securely is cast.

Securely takes new steps to protect student innocence

Neetra Chakraborty, Art & Graphics Editor November 19, 2023

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire After an uptick in concerning student searches, the PR team of Securely has released a statement detailing new protective measures designed to maintain a healthy...

Ugliest Hat Store

Ugliest Hat Store

Nina Stadermann, Staff Writer November 19, 2023

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