Advice Column 18-19: Week 11

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Hello DV students!

Thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s Rapid Response advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no ways obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow up for any inquiries.

The Weekly Advice Column team always tries to consider the inquiries they receive with due respect, and thus may have elected to give further consideration to certain inquiries in place of prematurely publishing a lacking response.


Want to ask some anonymous questions and get advice? Our form opens every Monday and closes on Friday at 11:59 pm. Responses are always posted on Sundays on this website. Week 12’s responses will be available on Sunday, January 27.

Week 12 form: https://goo.gl/forms/xr6GyHOasPPVclj12


Q: Am I a bad person to like someone when the person I like is a good friend of mine? Is it bad that I want that person to like me back? Should I hide my emotions and if so any advice on how to hide emotion? – helPiMSoconFusEd!?! 

A: hey helPiMSoconFusEd!?!

Definitely not a bad thing. We can never help the way we feel right? I mean I’m sure things would be 80% different we all could help the way we feel. Take it from someone who’s been on that boat before, you can’t help the way you feel towards someone and it definitely is NOT a bad thing.

Now, my usual advice for kind of confronting your own emotions and navigating feelings would be to just talk to the person about it, but that can be extremely tricky if that person is one of your good friends. There’s always that little chip in your brain that’s going keep telling you that you are about to ruin a friendship or something by telling this person. And in a way, yes, telling that person may keep take away certain aspects of that friendship, but in the end it’s more rewarding to have spoken to that person about it.

If you REALLY don’t want to tell that person that you like them, then you can always just hide your feelings. Some ways to do that is to take a deep breath, and avoid situations where your emotions can get in your way. AKA when this person touches your hand or gets too close. AVOID THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Another way to get over them, AND hide your emotions at the same time is to sort of think of something else everytime they come into your thoughts. So suppose your thinking of this person, and right when you notice yourself fantasizing or something, think about the math test that you’re going to have, or that cool new song you discovered. It helps to keep your emotions intact (and it’s scientifically proven to help, woohoo!).

Hope this helps, and good luck my friend,

Harshita!

 

 

Q: Is it okay to date someone a year younger than you, or should I just forget it?

– Sweet Sister

A:  Dear Sweet Sister

Love has no age requirement and besides, a year isn’t too much of a difference. If you really like this individual and they like you back, a year-gap should not obscure it.

Best of luck!

Daniela

 

 

Q: How do I get over a guy before murdering him… haha, just kidding, no, but really, he literally killed the old me.

– SofieDossiFan

A: Hey SofieDossiFan,

From what you’ve said, it seems like he’s someone who hurt you a lot. Try to avoid talking/texting him for a while, and focus on the people in your life who make you happy, like your friends, or even acquaintances that make you feel good. This might be hard, but not having to see him as often as you probably do, or even just not talking to him if he’s in your classes can help a lot. I think talking to someone you really trust and just venting out your feelings can help a lot, too, and spending a while processing what happened can help, even if it takes time. You also mentioned that he ‘killed the old you’—take this time to take care of your own mental and physical health and work on become the person you want to be. Good luck!

-Amrita

 

 

Q: Why am I feeling burned out after semester one and how can I rejuvenate myself?

– Neko 

A: Dear Neko,

You worked hard, and that’s perfectly normal to feel burned out. Continue working hard, but maybe take occasional breaks from studying and indulge in things you enjoy, whether that’s watching YouTube, eating ice cream, or anything in between.

Best of luck!

Daniela

 

 

Q: Whenever I’m learning or concentrating on something complex, confusing, and/or hard, I get a really bad headache. Any tips for management and/or prevention?

– MyHeadHurtsSaveMe 

A: Dear MyHeadHurtsSaveMe,

Getting headaches while studying can often be caused by eyestrain and/or an uncomfortable position. To avoid getting them, try to drink water often, sit in a more comfortable position, maybe drink something caffeinated if you can, avoid strong smells, and try to get more sleep. Good luck, and I hope your headaches go away!

-Amrita 🙂

 

 

Q: With less than six months until I graduate high school, how can I build the courage to self-improve afterwards? Throughout high school, I got by day-by-day using my planner, writing due dates, and just doing things the night before. I’m not quite sure how I spent my time or where it had gone over the past four years, but it’s gone, and I sorely regret it. Because I was an aimless and lazy chump, most of my personal, more ambitious goals I set up for myself back in freshman year are left unchecked, unfulfilled. I know that I’ll have another four years to go and college is what I make of it, but how can I be driven without having my own ambition leaving me disoriented? 

– A senior

A: Dear A senior,

There’s no easy answer to this question, but I’ll try my best to answer this with consideration to a few key parts of your question.

Firstly, don’t get too discouraged right now. It’s a good sign that you’re introspective and self-aware, and that you’ve realized that you want to improve yourself. You mentioned trying to avoid having your ambition leave you disoriented/disillusioned, and you mentioned having personal goals from freshman year. There are a few things you’ll have to consider. What are your goals now? If they’ve changed since freshman year, reevaluate them. Decide whether some of them are short-term or long-term goals, and pick a few that you feel you could realistically accomplish sometime before the end of senior year. They can be simple things, but they may help to motivate you to start pursuing some of your larger, more ambitious plans.

If you find that you lose focus/motivation easily, consider creating incentives for yourself and/or manageable steps you can take toward your goals. If you find that the goals you set are too ambitious (which consequently makes you less motivated to continue pursuing them), try to set more realistic goals for yourself, or break your larger ambitions into smaller parts. Advice on how to set realistic goals that will still challenge you is something I’m not sure I can provide a complete answer to. This part is largely dependent on your understanding of your own abilities, what motivates you, your work ethic, and your goals. This is not to say you should let go of anything challenging, or stop pursuing your passions with ambition. It’s more than ok to have your sights set on something great, but you always set goals that are very difficult for you to accomplish, you may always end up disappointed.

Keep looking forward to your college years. It’s a new time, one where you may find yourself with new opportunities to seek out to further your ambitions. Even if you have regrets about the past few years, there’s no value in being weighed down with regrets. If you still believe you were an “aimless and lazy chump,” take this perception as motivation for self-improvement. And lastly, don’t be afraid to take things at a different pace this semester. You noted you only “got by” in your years at Dougherty, and that you’re not sure where your time has gone. Take these last few months to find your interests again, and cross off any items on your senior bucket list. With your mindset to improve, things can only get better from here.

Good luck,

Taylor

 

 

Q: Should full on making out be allowed in school?

– Isaac Cox

A: Dear Isaac Cox

No, we should officially ban PDA and sentence offenders to exactly 64 years in prison.

– Sarah Kim

 

 

Q: What is the best advice you have for someone who is struggling to manage their time with school and their hobbies/passions?

– Anonymous

A: Dear Anonymous,

We’ve answered questions like yours in the past, so we’ve linked some of our responses with different advice down below.

Week 1, Part I – https://thewildcattribune.com/4740/exclusives/advice-column-week-1-part-i/

  • Q: How can I manage my time while keeping my grades up, sleeping, extracurriculars, existing, AND having a social life? – curious child
  • Q: I do so many sports inside and outside of school, and I get home at 7-8 in the night and do homework and then sleep. How do I manage it all while getting at least 8-9 hours of sleep each night???  – A half-asleep freshman

Week 2 – https://thewildcattribune.com/4902/exclusives/advice-column-week-2/

  • Q: I sometimes have trouble managing my time between my outside life and school life. What are some ways to help me manage my time better and strike a balance between the two? – Angsty Junior

Week 6 – https://thewildcattribune.com/5277/exclusives/advice-column-week-6/

  • Q: How can I better time manage when my weekends are jam packed with extracurriculars? – Clueless Claudia

Week 8 – https://thewildcattribune.com/5547/exclusives/advice-column-week-8/

  • Q: So I’m taking a lot of hard courses in freshman year, which just creates piles and piles of homework. On top of that I have way too many extracurricular and responsibilities. My grades are starting to slack off, and I don’t know how to balance all of this. Plzz help!!!! – Freaked Out Freshman
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