Advice Column 21-22: Week 2

Jack Ke, Nova Starling, Ella Shen, and Ananya Mukherjee

Hello DV students –  you’ve asked and we’ve answered! Thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no way obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow up for any inquiries.

There is now a tab on the DVHS website for the Wildcat Tribune where the forms will be posted every week. Also, remember that the form link will always be on our instagram account @wildcat.tribune and on the website!

The Tribune reserves the right to abstain from responding/publishing any submission. Please refrain from explicitly referencing other individuals in your submissions and/or using explicit language, as doing so may warrant the partial or total redaction of your question. We will not tolerate threats directed towards other students, and we will not respond to questions that we determine to be offensive or violent in nature.

Q: I liked this guy who was in one of my classes for a few weeks and I thought he liked me too but today I found out that he has a gf. His girlfriend is super sweet and cool and I would never do anything to try to break them up but I just don’t know how to feel. What should I do? 

– Confused Candy Corn

A: Dear Confused Candy Corn,

I’d say that the best idea in your situation is to work towards getting over him. Because he has a girlfriend, anything you might have assumed was romantic probably just ended up being his version of friendly. I wouldn’t recommend bringing up the fact that you liked him, since it might make things awkward between you, especially if he knows that you’re aware he’s in a relationship. You should strive to be friends with him instead though – I’m still friends with a few people I’d previously had crushes on, so if you can maintain that kind of relationship, it’ll help you get over him easier.

Best of luck,

Nova

Q: My name is FH and I’m really into a girl; let’s call her MM. We are both seniors and going to college soon. How do I start a conversation with her?

– FH

A: Dear FH,

Thanks for reaching out to us! I’d say that the best thing you should do in your situation is try to initiate a conversation with MM. I understand that asking someone out may seem very stressful, but after you push through the emotions, you will feel much better inside. You could ask MM for a meetup at a nearby Cold Stones or any restaurant that you love. But even if things don’t turn out the way you intended, pick yourself up and don’t have second thoughts.

You got this!

Jack

Q: How to stop feeling numb from burnout and to try to feel my emotions again like genuine happiness?

– Tom Brady 

A: Hello Tom Brady! 

So nice to be able to talk to you! 

Here are a few things I think can really help:

If you’re stressed from work, go outside for a short walk, and just enjoy the sun. It’s not always helpful to be studying for hours at a time. Taking a small break in between periods of work time (at least for me) allows for so much more productivity and less stress. 

Oftentimes when I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work I have, planning it out on weekly calendars really puts my mind at ease. Just planning it out and seeing your tasks in a more organized manner lets me realize that it’s always manageable, and it’s just my mind overreacting. 

Put yourself with people you enjoy spending time with. It doesn’t have to be your closest friends, but maybe a random classmate who you can just relax and have fun around. 

Try something new for a change. For a while, I felt like my very existence was just meaningless. Like why am I putting in all this work? Just for a better future? I mean, yes, but if you’re burnt out your entire high school life, it probably won’t do any good for your future either. I found, and am in the process of finding happiness, by changing my daily routines. Maybe reorganizing your life– try doing all the dull work first, and exciting tasks last. 

Focus on the little things. Maybe having an exciting breakfast, or taking an extra step in self care. Explore different hobbies! Something that really allows me to relax and just wash away all the pain is music. I often drown myself in songs–and it helps me realize that lyrics can be pretty impactful. Also, try pursuing your passions! Do things that make you happy. For example, I recently took up learning the ukulele. I practice on the car drive on the way to work. You might feel overwhelmed, but you always have time. Scrap time to enjoy yourself doing something you love. It can also be journaling or something of the sorts. I also recently took up bullet journaling, making monthly themed pages of just feelings and moods. (Yes I know, I’ve done a lot of reforming recently). Write down the little things that make you happy, or things you think just add a little joy to the world.

Trust me, I’m speaking all from experience. You’re not the only one who is going through a tough time from burnout, but you’re the only one who can fix that. Ranting to your friends or a trusted person gets your feelings out there, and it just feels better. 

Now this may be very different from the advice you thought you were getting. Maybe some of the problems above don’t even apply to you. But when I started writing this advice column for you, Tom Brady, I started venting out and reflecting on some of my own problems. Which is kinda my point. Write in your journal, talk to someone, just let your feelings out. 

Hope this helps!

Ella

Q: i’m an unsuspecting tavern owner. no funny business going on. but this one kid (calls himself a chronicler? nerd) keeps thinking i’m some sorta warrior. what to do?

– kote

A: Well, Kote, this is truly an issue. Have you given any hints to this poor kid about the state of your life? After all, you’re only a simple tavern owner. I suggest you go out on an adventure! Talk to the kid and ask him to go hunt monsters with you. When you do, he’ll realize your incompetence and understand that there’s no true way you’re a warrior. I wish you the best of luck there, but in case you’d rather not risk grevious injury going out and facing many a beast, I’d just walk him through your past. Tell him about yourself, and explain that your life is simple, and dull, and fits squarely within the walls of the tavern.

Best, 

Nova

Q: I moved to San Ramon in January and I still haven’t found a group to eat lunch with – it feels like everyone has their friend groups already. How do I go about making new friends?

– In the blues

A: Hi In the blues,

I completely get it. It’s hard moving anywhere, especially halfway through the school year. But you’re not alone. Plenty of new kids move to Dougherty all around the year and find amazing friends to spend their time with. I wouldn’t say there is a common formula – everyone meets people in different ways. But one thing I can assure you, is that most people love talking about themselves. I made my first friend in A-period by talking about how hard it was getting out of bed that morning. After that, she offered me gum and the rest is history. Approaching people is the key – rather than waiting for someone to come up to you. If you feel like most people have groups of friends already, it’s unlikely that they will approach you, despite DV having the nicest student population. Once you do so, make sure to find common interests. Maybe you and the person play the same sport, or share a love for boba, which you can bond for. Next, expand your horizons. Join school clubs and organizations that interest you and make sure to come out to school events such as games and rallies, where you can interact with people outside of the classroom. The most important thing is to be confident. The more approachable you seem, the more people will want to talk to you! It’s only a matter of time before you find your people. I wish you the best of luck!

Ananya 

Q: Literally failing bio right now- do yall have any advice on how to get my grade up?

-stop codon

A: Hey stop codon, 

Coming from someone who took Bio, I understand your struggles. Something that has helped me was re-reading the textbook and having a notes page right next to me to track key topics. Having a small little notebook to quickly jot down information could become very helpful when studying for your final at the end of the semester. Additionally, if you haven’t already, check out Khan Academy. Khan Academy has both a High School Biology curriculum and if you want to challenge yourself more, you could look into the AP Bio curriculum. Finally, you can join our school’s Biology club where certain topics of Bio are taught each week and you could definitely find someone that is willing to teach/help you. With that being said, you should never be afraid of the teacher and you should ask him/her any questions you need as well. I hope all is well!

Best, 

Jack