Advice Column 18-19: Week 2

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Hello DV students!

Thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s Rapid Response advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Want to ask some anonymous questions and get advice? Our form opens every Monday and closes on Friday at 11:59 pm. Responses are always posted on Sundays on this website. Week 3’s responses will be available on Sunday, October 7.

Week 3 form: https://goo.gl/forms/wK2lSgDbUDOKjAyM2


Q: I’m contacting business partners for my nonprofit and don’t know how long I should wait to send a follow up email since they have not responded yet. It’s been 2 weeks, should I wait a 3rd?

– Clueless Claudia

A: Hi Clueless Claudia!

This sounds like quite the vexing problem. If I were you, I would check a previous reply (if there is one) to see if your business partner mentioned a time frame within which they planned to respond to you. If there isn’t any mentioned, then I think it would be safe to assume that your partner(s) either missed your email somehow, forgot to reply, or something along those lines. In this case, shooting them a quick and short email asking them if they got your previous email and would still be interested in the opportunity to work with you would be more than appropriate.

In my case I would wait no more than a week and no less than two days for this response, and in email responses in general. If two tries is not enough to reach this person, but you would still like to pursue this partnership, then I recommend trying to locate them and confronting them in person to politely ask about the topic.

Hope it works out!

Sarah Kim

 

Q: I sometimes have trouble managing my time between my outside life and school life. What are some ways to help me manage my time better and strike a balance between the two?

– Angsty Junior 

A: Hey Angsty Junior,

Organization is the secret of life. Drafting out a weekly timetable filled with upcoming events such as tests, essays, and projects can really help you see the time you have for some time with friends or time to play an instrument. If you have access to an online calendar, use that to add in events so you know exactly what days you’re busy and what days you aren’t. This helps you not only see the amount of spare time you have, but also creates a path to be more productive when it comes to the school work!

Hope that helps!

Harshita

 

Q: Hi guys, there’s this girl i really like, she’s my best friend and i really like her. I also know that she likes me, but idk how to ask her out? please give me the best way i could ask her out without her saying no! Thanks!!! 

– Silent Ninja

A: Dear Silent Ninja,

I wrote an answer to almost the same exact question last week, so you can read that here (insert link). However, in your case, you feel that your best friend also likes you back. I think the best way to go about asking her would be to have a genuine conversation that leads up to the question instead of blurting it out. Understand whether she wants to date in general right now and double check whether she is feeling something for you back. You could also ask her to Homecoming or to the movies over the weekend; if you treat it like a date without expressly saying it is and she responds positively, you could ask her at the end whether she’d consider going out with you (officially). However, don’t ask if she likes you in front of other people or in the form of an actual Hoco ask, because that might not elicit a genuine response; she may just be pressured into saying yes.

Good luck!

Oce

 

Q: I’m having trouble keeping a goal. I want to achieve it, but I keep procrastinating and just forgetting about it. How can I make sure I remember and achieve my goal? 

– Rick Astley

A: Hello Rick Astley,

Keeping a goal is a huge struggle; I would know since I kind of suck at it myself. However, it’s far from impossible! ….Probably.

In all honesty, it probably depends on the kind of goal you want to work towards and how committed you are to it. Still, there are some general tips I could give you to help you maintain this goal.

First, Rick, try to set up a system to remind yourself of this goal. This can be sticking a post-it note with your goal written on it on the screen of your phone or even making it your lock screen background or having a friend/family member remind you about it every day. The latter option may cause unintended consequences in the form of stress induced by a nagging relative, though, so I do caution you even if it’s probably one of the more effective methods of reminder.

Second, recognize why you want to achieve this goal and reaffirm the importance of that cause. Why do you have this goal? Can you really afford to not do it now? If this is hard for you, try to set up a routine schedule for yourself that incorporates your goal so that it becomes less a question of self-motivation than habit and duty. Try to figure out small, little ways to work towards the goal before building up to bigger steps and obstacles, if applicable. Make yourself used to working for it and make it something normal, rather than something unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Third and finally, recognize when you have set an impossible goal for yourself! Sometimes your procrastination is the answer. You don’t really want to do it, and you don’t really need to, either. If this turns out to be the case, then no wonder you’ve been procrastinating from doing it! It’s because you subconsciously knew it was pointless. There is no shame in admitting that you realized something wasn’t right for you. However, sometimes it’s not the goal that is “wrong” but why you’re pursuing it. Refer back to my second tip if this is the case, and also consider if the way you’re pursuing this goal is correct and meaningful to you. The journey is sometimes the reward after all, right?

Good luck!

Sarah Kim

 

Q: How do I know if I still have a chance to say sorry (its been years) or when I should just let it go since they seem better/happy with themselves right now? 

– T*

A: Dear T*,

When it comes to apologies, I would argue it’s never really “too late” to tell people that you regret your past actions. You definitely still have a chance! I’m not sure what happened between the two of you, but regardless of whether or not the person seems happy now, it’s likely that they haven’t felt a sense of proper closure since your last interaction. While it may feel awkward to bring it up after a long period of time, most people would appreciate that you took the time to address the issue and apologize.

Apologizing is hard. There’s no easy way to go about this, and I understand you may feel hesitant since you did acknowledge that it has been several years. If you haven’t been communicating with this person, find a way to contact them. I would suggest speaking to them at a time when they’re alone. If possible, try not to blindside them with the topic – reach out beforehand and establish a time to either meet or have the conversation over the phone. Based on the fact that you are considering apologizing years after the event, it seems like this was a pretty serious situation – if this is the case, try to at least give them a call if you can’t meet in person or if it might make the person too uncomfortable to meet you in person. Having this conversation over text leaves any of the words exchanged between the two of you open to being misconstrued, and it may make you seem as though you’re not taking the situation seriously. Be genuine and sincere when you speak to them. They may not accept your apology, and they may need more time to make sense of what happened and their emotions. Whatever the outcome, know that you did a good thing by admitting your mistakes and attempting to make things right.

Good luck!

Taylor

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