Dear Reader,
Imagine being 80 years old, comfortably seated in a retirement home, engaged in a spirited game of Scrabble with your dear friends. Suddenly, a groundbreaking idea surges through your mind. You rise from your chair (aided by your trusty cane, of course) and say with great enthusiasm, “Hooray!” This exclamation nearly startles one of your friends, who recently experienced a cardiac arrest (seriously, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?). “I’ve decided to run for the president of the United States!” you announce jubilantly. Yet, your Scrabble companions appear perplexed, even lost. Their hearing aids may be acting up, but you dismiss that notion. You simply can’t fathom why this idea would strike them as overly dramatic!
Indeed, the idea of an 80-year-old candidate running for the highest office in the land might appear comical at first glance. After all, we’re talking about individuals who remember rotary phones and black-and-white television as the pinnacle of technological advancement. But fear not, for they have a grand plan to steer the nation forward. Brace yourselves, dear citizens, for the ultimate wisdom of the elderly!
Picture this: The campaign trail, where our seasoned septuagenarian or octogenarian is rallying supporters, all while managing a troupe of medical professionals armed with wheelchairs, hearing aids and the ever-present “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” buttons. It’s a sight to behold, really.
Their campaign promises? Well, it’s not universal healthcare, social security reform or climate change action – those are for the young folks to worry about. While the rest of the world is grappling with pressing matters and adapting to the rapid changes of the 21st century, these politicians continue to revel in the bygone eras of their youth. But hey, at least we can all look forward to a fiercely competitive game of Bingo and some shuffleboard heroics as they lead us into the future – or should I say, shuffle us into the future!
When asked about foreign policy, our seasoned candidate’s eyes light up with excitement. They pledge to negotiate with world leaders with the same fervor they once used to haggle over the price of a loaf of bread. “Back in my day,” they proudly proclaim, “we had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to get to school. World peace? Piece of cake!”
And let’s not forget their economic policy – a return to the good old days, when the stock market was just a quaint notion and a pension plan meant having enough change for the local diner’s early bird special.
So, dear reader, while it may seem like a strange and even surreal proposition to have our golden-agers run the nation, let’s not underestimate their potential. After all, they have a lifetime of experience in complaining about the state of the world from their living room recliners. Who better to bring that valuable expertise to the highest office in the land?
As we ponder the potential of our octogenarian leaders, remember: age is just a number, and sometimes, it’s a pretty big one. But hey, if they can remember where they left their dentures, perhaps they can remember how to run a nation too.
Yours in Geriatric Governance,
Shreya Arun
