Advice Column 18-19: Week 16

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Hello DV students – thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no ways obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow up for any inquiries.

**The Tribune reserves the right to abstain from responding/publishing any submission. Please refrain from explicitly referencing other individuals in your submissions and/or using explicit language, as doing so may warrant the partial or total redaction of your question. We will not tolerate threats directed towards other students, and we will not respond to questions that we determine to be offensive or violent in nature.


Want to ask some anonymous questions and get advice? Our form opens every Monday and closes on Friday at 11:59 pm. Responses are always posted on Sundays on this website. Week 17’s responses will be available on Sunday, March 3.

Week 17 form: https://goo.gl/forms/7zRrBibj9VbBDeWI2


**[Submissions deemed inappropriate by the Tribune have been removed.]

Q: I have mixed emotions about this guy. Basically we’ve been talking for a little while now. We joke around and he’s pretty chill but I think I might like him. I haven’t liked anyone in a while and I was so comfortable and happy just being by myself and motivating myself in general to work harder and do better. I want to get over him but I don’t know how 

– brown chick

A: Heyo brown chick,

First, it seems as if you are conflicted over your own feelings. Do you actually like him or is it just a feeling? Take some time and figure out whether you actually like him or not.

Second, Yes, not having a crush is AMAZING, but once in a while you’re gonna find yourself in situations where you have some feelings towards someone and THAT IS 100% OKAY!!! I cannot stress that enough. It is perfectly okay to like someone and not have them like you back or not pursue it. You can’t help feelings and just because you don’t like the idea of having a crush doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen. You seem to be uneasy about the fact that you have a crush on someone, and to that I say, let it be! Don’t let the idea that you are changing just because you have developed feelings for someone consume you. Feelings are feelings man, they don’t change you unless you let them

Lastly, getting over someone is not something one can just do. You can’t Control-Alt-Delete feelings and go back to life (although I wish we could. Wouldn’t life just be so much easier?), it takes time. Sometimes it’s a slow process, and sometimes you can get over someone with the snap of a finger. To sort of quicken the slow process, you can do try out some new activites like discovering new music, or writing music or going hiking (I recently took up hiking of some sorts and it’s kinda fun. Take it from someone who never does anything involving the outdoors). All in all, just remember that getting over someone takes time, and effort. It’ll happen, trust me!

Hope that helps!

– Harshita 🙂  

 

 

Q: There’s this guy I’ve been friends with for 3 years and I think I might have a crush on him, I kinda wanna make a move but I have no idea where to start or even if I should because if it fails it could potentially ruin our relationship. Pls send help.

– Confused

A: Hey Confused,

I think you should tell him, the worst he can do is say he doesn’t like you back. Since you’ve been friends for a while, I don’t think it’d make your friendship weird if he doesn’t like you back. You should definitely make the first move by telling him you like him. It’d give you closure if you told him and you wouldn’t have to worry about how he feels. Just tell him you like him and see how he responds. If he says he likes you too, then ask him out! If he says he doesn’t like you, then you should tell him it’s cool and that staying friends is fine. You should make it clear how you feel. Speaking from experience, if you’re good friends and he doesn’t like you back, it shouldn’t be awkward for your relationship after. Hopefully he likes you back, then you can find yourself in a great relationship! 🙂

Hope this helps,

Caroline

 

 

Q: how do you get revenge on a sibling in a somewhat wholesome manner? need ideas 

-dot

A: Hi dot!

I somehow have avoided this myself with my little brother (not really sure how), but I think I might have some ideas?

  1. If your sibling is super organized (or just hates it when things are changed), completely re-organize their room, either make it as messy as can be or keep it clean, but misplace everything on purpose.
  2. Replace their iPhone chargers with broken ones
  3. Swap out their AirPods (or nice headphones, or other valued tech item) for wired earbuds
  4. Do their laundry, but cut holes in most of their socks
  5. If your sibling uses mechanical pencils, swap all of them out for Ticonderoga pencils
  6. If your sibling uses colored pencils, swap them out for Crayola preschool crayons
  7. Exchange their shampoo/soap items in the shower for empty bottles

Yeah, that’s all i got. It’s pretty wholesome. Just things to annoy back but still pretty funny in hindsight. Just remember to keep them wholesome!

Good Luck!

-Daniela 🙂

 

 

Q: hello this isn’t a question but I love the tribune keep doing great work

-chicken nugget 

A: Aw, shucks. Thanks, chicken nugget. You stay crispy, too.

via GIPHY

– Sarah Kim

 

 

Q: there’s this guy and i love him except he only talks to me at school and is very passive on text. how do i make him love me? 

-idiotinlove

A:

Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that if his actions were reversed— if he only talked to you on text and was passive in person— that would be a bigger red flag. On the other hand, being passive over text may indicate he doesn’t want to form a relationship or friendship with you outside of school. However, there could be a chance he’s just an awkward texter (they exist!) so maybe do a little bit of digging into whether he’s always that passive or just with you. As to making him love you, I genuinely think you should figure out how he sees you first before making your move. Best way to do that is ask mutual friends about his feelings or drop a hint (a subtle one) to him or his friends about how you feel. Or— bring up a conversation about crushes and see how he responds or if he likes anyone else. Also, maybe stop starting text conversations with him and see if he texts you first or initiates a conversation— that will indicate if he actually wants to talk to you or not. Lastly, invite him somewhere out of school friends (in a group or not). If he still doesn’t talk to you, then it’s likely he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. If he’s an active part of the conversation, then that’s a good sign.

If the coast is clear, make your move. If not, you can hold out and keep trying to further your friendship/relationship or decide to try and get over your feelings. It’s your call. I wish you the best of luck!

Oce

 

 

Q: i really like this guy and we’re rlly good friends but he has a girlfriend. should i kill her and seduce him so we can be together? 

-breakerupper

A: Hi breakerupper,

We get it – Love is a sensitive topic. But joking about physically harming others isn’t funny – in the future, we won’t be responding to asks that threaten other students, even if those questions are made in a joking manner. 

But for real, try to get over him. It’s not worth waiting around and missing out on someone else who isn’t occupied with a girlfriend.

Good luck,

Amrita 🙂

 

 

Q: i’m addicted to food but i need to get skinny for prom. what is the quickest way to do this without going to the gym? 

-foodeater

A: Dear foodeater,

Firstly, I’d like to emphasize that you shouldn’t try anything drastic – extreme diets are not only fatiguing/damaging for your body and they won’t necessarily provide results. It is also extremely dangerous to attempt starving yourself. If you want to lose weight for prom, try to approach it in a balanced way. In addition to the advice provided here, I would strongly suggest consulting more professional, medical sources that can provide you with more specific nutritional information.

I understand you’re not looking to go to the gym, but exercise coupled with dietary changes is always more effective than just choosing one of those lifestyle changes – try taking a short walk after school for some moderate aerobic activity and a supplement to your dietary changes. You also noted you’re “addicted to food,” in which case I’d suggest switching the foods that you normally eat with healthier alternatives. And as most people would suggest, it’s also helpful to cut back on sugary and/or processed foods.

There are a lot of apps that can help you track your progress and your meals – these can help with guiding your dietary changes so that they aren’t executed in a way that might threaten your health.

Best,

Taylor

 

 

Q: how to deal with a long distance relationship? 

-lonely lover

A:  It’s all in commitment, sweet pea. I mean how much time and effort are you willing to put into this relationship. If the answer is a lot, then get ready for a whole lotta facetimes (or skypes, or houseparty, or whatever means of video call)  and phone calls. Make time for one another and make sure you communicate, tons of books, movies, T.V shows and sad Taylor Swift songs (No shade, I love her) have taught us that miscommunication leads to us crashing and burning. We want to avoid that, so make sure you talk a lot, and tell each other everything! Oh, also if you both are financially capable, make sure you book visits to see one another in person! It’ll help because then you get some actual face to face time.

(all of this is from watching my friend go through a long distance relationship, so I may not be 100% credible for this advice)

Hope that helps!

– Harshita 🙂

 

 

Q: what is a good question i should ask for the advice column?

-questionasker

A:

Hmm… Good question.

— Sarah Kim

 

 

Q: who is your favorite person in the world and why?

-chocolatepie 

A: Hi chocolatepie!

This is a rather subjective question, and I can’t really give you a straight answer, because I don’t necessarily have a favorite person. I have people whom I idolize, such as Michelle Obama and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but my favorite people are people I hold close to me. This is gonna sound really cheesy, but my favorite people are my immediate family members (including my dog) as well as my two closest friends. I’m usually a people-person and I like most people, but these individuals are truly close to my heart.

Thanks for the curiosity!

-Daniela 🙂

 

 

Q: Is it weird to have a relationship between grades? I like someone and they like me back but we’re in different grades so idrk what to do!!!

– [redacted]

A: Hey [redacted],

It’s not weird at all to have a relationship between grades. Since you both like each other, you should definitely go for it!! If you really like each other, a one or two or three year difference doesn’t matter. I honestly don’t think anyone will care that you’re in different grades, but it shouldn’t bother you if they do because you’d be happy and in a good relationship.

Hope this helps,

Caroline

 

 

Q: How can I get into Harvard and Stanford with straight B’s, no extracurriculars, and mediocre writing skills? 

-submittingquestionsisaddicting

A: Dear submittingquestionsisaddicting,

Unfortunately, the only advice I can give you is to make yourself stand out somehow on your application, and hope for the best.

Sincerely,

Taylor

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