Valentine’s Playlist


When you invite your S.O. over to your home for the first time, this song is your best bet at setting the mood and paving the path for the progression of your relationship. Let them know that you’re into really, really, really good music and stare deeply into their eyes so that fact really settles in. While you’re at it, just stay there a little longer. Stare into their eyes and stay silent as you gaze at their immaculate beauty. Maybe lick your lips a little.


Welcome to the black parade- My Chemical Romance


What better way to bond with your S. O. than digging up the ol’ middle school memories and doing your part to recreate them? Some may say their middle school emo days were the physical manifestation of their clinical depression and were some of the worst years of their lives, but I say, I was never as good at doing my eyeliner as I was struggling with my mental health. The all-black, edgy look will never be out of style — make it your mission Valentine’s Day this year to show that you’re not like all the other couples.


Or nah – Ty Dollar Sign

I’m thinking … a nice, home cooked dinner date with white roses and candlelight. Build up to this song with some traditional classical music, let the person you’re courting know you’re classy and let’s be honest, kind of boring. Just picture the pleasantly surprised look on their face once the playlist lands on this song, and I promise you, this entire journey would have been worth it. There’s nothing more romantic than the classic Lady and the Tramp move while The Weeknd’s Canadian voice sings “Can you let me stretch out that p*ssy or nah?” in the background.


Caravan of Thieves – Eat You

A friend once told me the story of how she met an ex-boyfriend while she was working a night shift at a corner coffee shop back in Maine. Apparently, while she was drying off the cups she spotted a beautifully unkempt creature with backcombed hair sitting near the window. She didn’t think anything of him at first, in fact she probably wasn’t even sure if he was human, but this song came on, and he was looking right at her! His eyes were wonderfully feral and she went on a date with him the next day. Now, I can’t say anything about their relationship (there were some trust issues, he’d disappear a night once a month without fail), but gosh darn it it’s one of the cutest first-meeting stories I’ve ever heard!