It happened at a Christmas party. 

A family friend showed me a chic new outfit they had planned for winter. I responded, saying that it was a “slay,” which many will recognize as meaning that the outfit was good. The word rang through the room, turning every head under ten years old. 

My younger cousin hit me with a look of pure disgust, wrinkling up his nose.

“Um. We don’t say that anymore,” he said. 

These were the words that shook me to the core. These were the words that changed my perspective of myself, and the world around us. This is when I realized that even at the age of 16, I needed to catch up in my knowledge of the latest slang. 

Language in today’s world is evolving faster than ever before. New words spring out of old ones, spreading in the time it takes to hit “share” or “send.” It is jarring to realize that the generation after our own has managed to develop a unique culture, despite watching Cocomelon for most of their conscious lives. 

Fellow Gen Z, we cannot afford to be left in the dust like the stinky, outdated millennials. We must keep up with today’s rapidly evolving slang-uage. With that, here is a comprehensive guide to Gen Alpha’s latest babble. 

Rizz (noun): A person’s romantic appeal or charm. 

Did you find a date for homecoming? You must have mad rizz!

(See also: Rizzler:  a person who has a lot of rizz.)

This word, an abbreviation of “charisma” has shockingly made it into the Merriam – Webster Dictionary. 

Gyatt (noun): Self-explanatory.

Mewing (verb): Putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth, to have a sharper jawline. 

He can’t talk right now. He’s mewing. 

Ever seen a video of someone tracing their chin and motioning to be quiet? They’re most likely mewing, a popular hobby among Alpha and Sigma males that trains their jawline to be sharp. 

Maybe you should try it sometime, mouthbreather. 

Fanum tax (noun): The action of taking someone’s food

You have a delicious plate of cookies, it’s time to pay the fanum tax. 

The term was popularized by the Twitch streamer Kai Cenat, when Fanum, another popular streamer, entered Cenat’s room, snatched a plate of cookies from him, and left. This became a recurring incident, garnering millions of views and leading to the rise of the term “Fanum tax.” 

Skibidi (adjective…?): I honestly don’t know. Something along the lines of evil and dastardly. 

“I saw two skibidies, they tried to fanum tax me.”  (Actual words heard in the DVHS hallways.) 

The word skibidi emerged from a YouTube video about toilets with heads taking over the world. Don’t ask me. 

Ohio (noun + adjective): A state, or a state of being strange and unusual. 

That dog looks so weird, did you get it from Ohio?

The term emerged after a viral photo of a bus announcement board with the phrase “Ohio will be eliminated.” After this image got popularized, people began sharing strange, outdated images captioned “only in Ohio.”

It seems that Ohio is a place where only flabbergasting and disturbing events take place. 

Conclusion:

These are the emerging words among a generation of children hooked onto iPads since they were fresh out of the womb. It is disconcerting to realize that we are not the “youngest generation” anymore. The demonic, Cocomelon-addicted toddlers born after us, better known as Gen Alpha, have gained consciousness, and are creating their own culture. 

Yes, Gen Z, we may be old. Our prime is in our past, and we are becoming “sooo last year.” But I will always find solace in the fact that I grew up with fidget spinners, slime and My Little Pony…and not…this. 

After Gen Alpha’s contributions to the English language, the best course of action is to reach out to our younger generation and understand their evolving culture. Maybe even ask them if they’re doing okay. But on second thought, it’s likely better if we cease communication with them altogether.