Hello DV students –  you’ve asked and we’ve answered! Thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no way obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow-up for any inquiries. And remember that the form link will always be on our instagram account @wildcat.tribune and on the website!

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Q: How do I casually ask a crush to hang out outside of school?

– Turtle

A: Hey Turtle,

Josh here. I sadly don’t have much experience with this topic, yet I can still give you meaningful advice. Honestly just be yourself. Ask them in a way that you’re comfortable with because you’re your own person. Obviously you shouldn’t push it too far, but showing who you really are to this person as the very first step to a more meaningful relationship makes not only you feel better about yourself, but it makes that special someone see who you are as a person rather than as someone just trying to impress her. Just like your alias as Turtle, slow and steady wins the race. 

Good luck and all the best to you!

– Josh

Q: Does it bother you that you’ll technically never be able to know or understand anyone completely and vice versa? From never being able to truly understand people’s intentions (lies to just the impossibility to know everything about someones life to understand their actions) or no one ever really taking the time to understand me, I feel a type of existential loneliness. Any advice on how to deal with this? (doesn’t help that I’m autistic lol)

– Fluffy Hawk

A: Hi fluffy hawk,

To answer your question, yes. Sometimes, I’ll come across people so dramatically absorbed into their own persons that I wonder whether they’ve ever even remotely been able to understand another person, but in these cases, I’m not as worried. Other times, when I come across that type of misunderstanding with friends or family, I think that’s when the existential loneliness that you describe kicks in. In these cases, with the people I’m closest with, it’s not as if I have another person that I can hope will empathize with me; they’re the ones that are supposed to be able to do so, and I rely on them for that very fact. The worst part of this entire experience is that this type of misunderstanding cannot be mended. There is no other person able to completely understand you than yourself, even if that. To be completely honest, I don’t think there’s any way to completely expel that type of loneliness; I feel that it’s inevitable. So the only reason why I’m sharing my own personal experiences is not to reintroduce that sense of loneliness but to assuage it, even if only slightly. Perhaps by hearing my experiences, you’ll realize that I understand what you mean — or at least as much as I’m able to, given that we don’t share the same experiences — and hopefully I can give you some of that empathy that you’re looking for. By reading through my own experience with loneliness, I hope that you can pinpoint some of your own experiences with mine and maybe even understand your own a bit better, because one of the best ways to find peace with the fact that others can’t understand you is understanding yourself. But, if you want some temporary relief while you come to terms with loneliness, I would suggest reading, but really any type of fictional media will do. The best thing about involving yourself with something fantastical is that you can fill in the gaps with what you want the story to be. When you’re reading, watching TV, or whatever method you choose, structure the story to fit your own beliefs. Justify what the characters are doing or saying with your own experiences so that they can empathize with you in any way you’d like. It’s like an imaginary friend, but less lame and slightly more justifiable. At the end of the day, try escaping into something else. Whether you decide to pick up a book or try to understand yourself amidst that overwhelming loneliness, I hope that both you and I can reach an independence where we don’t need others to understand who we are.

Best of luck,

Shelby

Q: How do you roast someone?

– A Senior

A: Hi A Senior,

The art of roasting someone is a delicate and sophisticated one. Whenever you roast someone, first consider something to make fun of first. It could be about anything, such as an odd habit the person has or an unusual obsession. Then, think about something funny to frame the quirk in an entertaining way. Finally, and most importantly, have some fun with it! Make sure that the person you’re roasting doesn’t take it too seriously. After all, it’s just meant to be a joke, and having someone getting upset would ruin that. So make sure that everyone knows that it’s all fun and games.

– Eugene