Hello DV students –  you’ve asked and we’ve answered! Thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no way obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow up for any inquiries.

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Week 1

Q: How do I make friends? I am a really anti-social person and I am really shy so I need help making new friends/ Could you give me advice please?

– Water Bottle

A: Dear Water Bottle,

First of all, people won’t know who you are unless you speak up first. Take the first big step out of your comfort zone. If you don’t open up to others, they won’t know what an amazing person you are. Remember that there are people out there who would love to know someone like you. Your personality is one of a kind. Be true to yourself, be your own person, and others will appreciate that. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, and maybe your personalities just don’t match, but that’s okay! If it doesn’t work out, who cares. Don’t worry too much about what others think of you, you probably won’t see any of them ever again in your life. And that’s the beauty of it all. Life’s short, and if you don’t take initiative, and make your life the way you want it to be, it’ll be over before you know it. 

If you’re feeling shy or lonely, avoid shutting yourself off from others around you. People don’t know that you want to make new friends unless you take the first step. Little things, like keeping your head up high, or a simple smile, can make someone’s day, and even yours! Also, small talk is great! It let’s someone know that you’re willing to be friendly, and enjoys hanging out with them. If they feel the same way, you guys will make great friends. 

One of the biggest things you can do for yourself, is trying to understand why you are anti-social. Is it fear of rejection? I believe that you truly want to have good friends around you, who will support you. Everyone doesn’t want to be rejected, but it’s just something that everyone will have to go through sometime in their life. Just know that if someone rejects you, or you’ve been rejected before in the past–it’s their problem. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out, for whatever reason there may be. 

Look for people who share the same interests as you. (On the other hand, you can also try new hobbies and interests to connect with others). A simple introduction (or compliments–people love compliments) will help break the ice, especially in a classroom. Don’t be afraid to reach out and spend more time outside of school with people you meet, and think will be good for you. If you see someone else who looks lonely, don’t be afraid to approach them. I’m sure they might be feeling the same way as you. But remember, just be yourself! Be kind and thoughtful, and you’ll find new friends. Friendliness goes a long way, and always just look for kindness!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Best of luck!

Ella

Q: Hey besties! I’m starting to like someone I rejected two years ago. do I reasonably have a chance?? lmao

-vin diesel

A: Dear Vin Diesel, 

I would love to say that you have a chance, but it honestly all depends on your current relationship with the individual. Do you still talk to them? Are you guys on good terms after you rejected them? If you answered yes to both of the questions, then you’re well on your way to redemption! If you answered no to one or both of the questions, maybe it’s time to reach out and see if they’re still willing to hold a conversation with you. The next step you should take to win them back is pretty simple: just continue talking with them! Don’t assume that they still have leftover feelings for you just because they’re talking to you again, but take communication as a good sign. Whenever you feel the time is right, you should bring up how you feel about them, and from there, it’s all just luck. Have courage in yourself and if it doesn’t work out, then take it as a sign to move on. 

Wishing you all the best,

Your bestie Ariel

Q: I seem to always fail my task given to me by my boss and it makes me feel terrible. My boss does so much for me but I can’t even do this task they had set for my team and I to do. The task seems pretty easy, but it’s easier said than done. Do you have any suggestions to help us capture pika- I meant, help us with our task of showing our boss that we are reliable?

-james (team rocket)

A: Dear James Team Rocket,

It’s definitely a tough situation to be in when you think you’re disappointing someone, especially when that someone is a person you respect. The important thing to remember is that you come first— doing your job should always be secondary to taking care of yourself. That in mind, take a step back, breathe a little. It seems like your boss is under some misconceptions about the difficulty of the task he’s assigned you— my advice, dear James, is trite but true: talk to him and manage those expectations before it can lead to resentment on both parts— say, lying to your boss about the role your team played in the downfall of a competitor leading to a lensman-style escalation of your role in the organization. You’re just as competent as you were when you first started— the only difference is that you’ve been expected to push the boulder up the hill like it doesn’t roll down— and you have been, ceaselessly, but perhaps it’s time to consider a change in pace. Try to illustrate to your boss exactly how your task is more difficult than it appears. Personally, I’m fond of concrete facts— for example, if your rival happened to be a four time octofinalist at various competitions and won two additional ones, perhaps it would be prudent to prepare a slideshow to remind your boss as to just what your job description entails. If all else fails, bring up reassigning the task to a different squad— there’s no shame in acknowledging your shortcomings, as long as you communicate openly about it!

Best of luck,

Sylvia

Q: So last christmas, I really fell for this girl. thought she was the one. gave her a note telling her I loved her. but she gave that love to another the very next day. it’s been a year and I just saw her across the room at this party. not sure if she even recognizes me. now, I do know what a fool I’ve been, but if she kissed me now I know she’d fool me again. I’m hiding in the crowd, but I do want to see her again. what should I do?

-george m.

A: Hi George!

Feelings and love can be very tricky things because our brain and heart always tell us two different things. One thing I want to tell you is that the chances this girl is the one is very slim, assuming you are in High School – it is rare for us to find our soulmates here. It’s hard to make your emotions from coming in the way but sometimes it is important to act logically,  ask yourself what is the right thing you should do? If this girl is really your soulmate you won’t need to question her motives, and she will recognize you! Make sure you are not compromising your self-worth and love over her because you are worth a lot more than crushes. Take some time for yourself and do things you want to do to make yourself happy and one day the right person will come along. It could be this girl or someone else. Best of luck!

Shereen

Q: I’ve been lying to my friends about having seen squid game. how do I keep the act up?

-nm

A: Hello nm!

Well, I do think you have a couple of options here. You could try talking about another topic whenever the conversation shifts to Squid Game, but it has to be subtle or else it’ll be too obvious that you’re avoiding talking about Squid Game. Reading the synopsis/plot summary might also be something to consider if you don’t want to watch the actual series as well. But of course, the best way to keep an act up is to turn it into reality- you should try watching it! Best of luck!

Grace Y.

Q: If Tribuners are allowed to ask their fellow Tribune people for advice…is there a formula of things to say when approaching a teacher for an interview? I always go on a whole spiel and then realize I forgot to even tell them my name

-Pseudopig 

A: Hello Pseudopig, 

I understand the struggle of asking teachers for interviews, it can be really awkward and the nervousness can make you forget what you are supposed to say. Something I find helpful is the idea of “faking it till you make it.” I tend to “act” confident even though I am quite nervous. I walk up to them and sometimes even that can be awkward. Make eye contact so that they know you are being sincere and the hardest thing to do is officially introduce yourself. For this I tend to start with, “Hello, I am from the Wildcat Tribune-” and then continue with my introduction spiel. Once you have gotten that first name/introduction, continue with your name and then why you would like to interview them. I don’t think the awkwardness ever dies down but practice definitely helps! 

Good luck!

Nayja Shah

Q: There is this guy I sort of like in one of my classes, but I’m not sure if he likes me back… He always talks to me in a sort of (flirty?) way, but I feel like he is just friendly to everyone. We talk a lot, but it’s mostly just about a class. What should I do?

-fluffycookie

A: Dear fluffycookie, 

I feel you. This is one of the trickiest, most stressful situations to be in and I bet you are feeling misinterpreted and overlooked. However, I think you should give “this guy” a bit more time. This sounds unhelpful but “this guy” may be figuring out his feelings as well and you never know what he may be feeling or going through. But to proceed, begin talking to him as much as possible about literally anything. Express yourself through random, dumb conversations and do not overthink yourself nor his actions (seriously don’t). Take things slowly because it is essential to build a strong, reliable yet lively friendship before jumping into the dating-stage. I highly suggest you talk about personal interests with him – this would allow the both of you to open up your personalities to each other. Some ideas to inspire you include watching and obsessing over the same TV shows with him, exploring his music tastes, and chatting with him about his favorite foods or snacks (and maybe try to recreate them!). Try to get to know the smallest details about him and share the smallest details about you as well – this will definitely make you more unique and memorable to him. fluffycookie, make no regrets and I wish you the best of luck! 

Yours Truly, 

Kimberly