“Hello and welcome all to our first ‘Debate which everyone will laugh at but we will pretend we are serious.’ I am Tony Iron Bran going to be conducting this evening debate. Before we get started I would like to thank Moore’s Christmas Tree for letting us conduct our debate.”

“The structure of the debate will work as so, each candidate will be given two minutes to talk in this you are not supposed to talk over each other, but since we are all kids it is going to be okay if you do so.”

“On the right, we have Mr. Got Milk, the one we all see the ads about and suddenly want to live a better life which then fails in a matter of three seconds. Who is representing the Milk before the Cereal party? Here on the left, we have Mr. Kellogg’s Froot Loops who may be colorful on the outside but don’t let that fool the dry taste it has! Who is representing the Cereal before Milk gang.”

“Now we will move on to our first question, this first one goes to you Mr. Milk following with a two-minute talk and then going to Mr. Loops. Why do you feel so passionate about your stance?”

“Now, we all know the importance of getting a good amount of breakfast in the morning. I do, I eat it all the time. Milk is my passion and without milk, there is no passion in life. It fuels your brain and it fuels your soul. My team  and I have spent over 35 trillion dollars in order to put milk in front of everyone’s doorsteps.”

“Really Milk? You really spent 35 trillion dollars on milk? Where is the proof huh?” said Loops.

“HEY HEY why are you ruining my time to shine man? Is this like when you told 30 high school students you would pay for their college tuition and then backed out?”

“Answer my question Milk, you’re trying to hide something,” said Loops

“Gentlemen, Gentlemen, let’s calm down. This is a ‘Debate which everyone will laugh at but we will pretend we are serious.’ Calm down.”

“Moving on, what makes you associated with your party and would you say to the other side? Starting with Mr. Milk for two minutes.”

“So, obviously, milk comes first when it comes to cereal, and-”

“Wait WHAT? No way, he has no idea what he’s saying, he’s too old for this type of thing. Cereal comes first when you make CEREAL because cereal has cereal in it.”

“Oh, will you shut up? I’m trying to make my point here?”

“Don’t tell me to shut up Milk, cereal obviously comes first.”

“Anyways, so, milk going in the bowl before cereal obviously shows that the cereal does NOT get soggy. If you want non-soggy cereal, the milk must go in first. To Mr. Loops, I’d say use your brains.”

“Cereal is supposed to go first! And it MUST be because Mr. Loops said so. And PS, cereal tastes good with milk, and milk is not needed for cereal because cereal itself is cereal.”

“Now what are you saying Loops? You’re not making any sense.”

“No, you’re not making any sense! Milk, I mean cereal, comes first because IT IS THE LAW FROM NOW ON.”

“Milk must come before the cereal because it can help maintain the perfect ratio of milk and cereal.”

“And that was the FIRST ‘Debate which everyone will laugh at but we will pretend we are serious.’ I hope that certainly convinced you that the milk must come first, and until next time!”