Whereas women may spend 30 minutes in the morning deciding what to wear from their closets full of oversized cardigans and high-waisted shorts, men tend to spend around five minutes slipping on a t-shirt and a pair of pants. Let’s face it: men do not have as much of a variety as women do when it comes to clothing, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, some women complain about how much more tedious it is to be a woman because there are just too many choices — not to mention the amount of criticism each new type of clothing gets (you can talk to my fellow writer, Michael Shi, for more criticisms of women’s fashion).

So shouldn’t less variety mean less of a chance for men to mess up what they wear? Of course not. Some men still straddle the line between fashion and disaster. Some, unfortunately, are just fashion disasters. Listed below are five things men should never be caught wearing in public.

5. Jeans That Do Not Fit

The ultimate cause of sagging is jeans that do not fit. No one needs to see the color of your boxers or briefs. And how do you walk with your jeans hanging around your thighs anyway? (Do you waddle like a penguin?) Buy new jeans a size — and for some extreme cases, many sizes — smaller. If you can’t buy new jeans, at least invest in a belt. Seriously. No one needs to see your butt hanging out.

4. Sandals with Socks

Socks are worn to warm your feet when they’re cold. Sandals are worn to free your feet from the heat and all that built-up moisture (not to mention prevent them from stinking up the classroom). So which is it? Are your feet cold or are your feet warm? Unless you’re just quickly slipping on sandals after a sporting event, make up your mind.

3. Bucket Hats

The purpose of bucket hats is for fishermen and farmers to have the ability to fish or farm in certain weather conditions. When it’s raining, bucket hats protect fishermen and farmers from the droplets pouring down on their face. When it’s hot, they offer shade from the intense heat (especially if you’re sitting outside waiting for fish or plowing through the fields). Let’s keep bucket hats to serve these purposes only. They’re not “trendy”, they’re just an abomination.

2. Crocs with Socks

Scratch the “with socks” part. Just don’t wear Crocs, period.

1. Nothing

Don’t be that guy who streaks at the football games. There’s no need for public nudity on the field, in school, or practically anywhere. Some places that are exceptions include your house, but even so, there’s a limit. Don’t be the person who accidentally flashes his sister or even worse, his mother. That is not a pretty sight.