Hello DV students – thank you for submitting to the Wildcat Tribune’s advice column! We’ve tried our best to answer your questions for this week. We will resume posting after Spring Break.

Disclaimer: The advice of the Wildcat Tribune Advice Column is provided by students, for students. While we have your best interests in mind, and we will try our best to help you, we are not expert sources for more serious topics. Our advice is intended to support you and help guide your decisions, but you are in no ways obligated to take it. Please email the Tribune if you feel the need to reach out for any kind of help or follow up for any inquiries.

The Tribune reserves the right to abstain from responding/publishing any submission. Please refrain from explicitly referencing other individuals in your submissions and/or using explicit language, as doing so may warrant the partial or total redaction of your question. We will not tolerate threats directed towards other students, and we will not respond to questions that we determine to be offensive or violent in nature.

Q: Hi Daniela! How do you play the cello?

– iHaveCookiesInMyInstrumentLocker

A: Hi iHaveCookiesInMyInstrumentLocker!

Thanks for the question! I’m a classical music nerd, so I love this question. Essentially, it depends what you want to play. Do you want to play twinkle-twinkle little star? Or the Bach Prelude from Suite 1? Or the Elgar Concerto (the most famous one)? To play twinkle-twinkle, you must know the basics of the cello. The thickest string is the C string (the really low one), next is G, then D, and then the skinniest string is the A string. Hold your bow properly (see link here) and apply proper pressure to the string through the weight of your arm , and keep your shoulder relaxed. With your left hand, ensure you have proper finger placement, you may need to use some finger tape for a while as your learning (see here).  If you don’t know bass clef already, you should learn how to read it, since most cello music is read in bass clef (see how here). To play twinkle-twinkle, the notes are D, D, A, A, B, B, A, G, G, F#, F#, E, E, D. That’s not the whole song, but it’s the first part of it. If you want to play the Bach Prelude, I recommend you practice for at least forty hours a day (watch TwoSet Violin on YouTube:)) and master twinkle-twinkle beforehand, as I have been playing cello for six years and I wasn’t able to play this because until about a year ago. Look up some recordings of great musicians such  Nathan Chan, Pablo Casals and Yo-Yo Ma to get a feel for the piece. If you want to play the Elgar Concerto, I can’t really help you with that as I have yet to learn that piece myself, it’s pretty hard. I do recommend you listen to Jacqueline Du Pre’s recording of this piece, though. It’s amazing and she is a legend. If you ever want to try cello, let me know, I can give you a free lesson during lunch, brunch, or access. My opinion is obviously very biased, but cello is such a versatile instrument. It may be the size of a living person, but to me, it’s worth it. Cello is a lot of work, but just like any instrument, you get what you put into your practice hours. Many times when I don’t have my cello, I don’t feel myself. It’s all about what’s right for YOU, but at the same time, try everything because you never know what the future holds for you. 🙂

I hope this helps and I wish you luck with all your future endeavors!

Thanks,

– Daniela (a cellist who screws up auditions and therefore gets rejected from youth symphonies!)

Q: who should i ask, if anybody, to prom? should i even go to prom?

– junior

A: Hey junior,

Do you want to go to prom? If yes, then go to prom. If not, then no. I mean, if you think you’re gonna like it, then go. If you think other wise THEN DON’T GO. I know it sounds wild, but as a junior you don’t have to go to prom. I know everyone’s talking about dresses, dates, limos and party buses right now but if you don’t feel like it, then don’t go!

Now for the whole “date”/ “asking people thing” if you have your eyes on someone, then ask them! If not, just go as friends. I know a few people around school that just want to ask someone because they want a “picture worthy prom.” That to me is so wild because why not just go with your friends? I mean wouldn’t you want that in pictures rather than someone who you don’t care much for? My point is, only ask someone if you have, like, a crush on them or want to date them (I suppose that would be the same thing as a crush, right?) or something along those lines.

Good luck,

Harshita!

Q: Hello my fellow bipedal organisms. I was just Thinking.Run() about the beep boop of life. How can I, a fellow bipedal homosapien, become a legitimate child? Ha Ha Ha cry.exe I request such debugging immediately. Gratitude.exe 

– real_human_v1

A: I’m not sure what you mean by “legitimate child”, to be honest. But if you’re asking how to be “human”, well. Seems like you’ve already got it down pat if you’re here and identify yourself as a “fellow bipedal homosapien”.

Just keep up the good beep boop, real_human_v1.

– Sarah Kim

Q: Could you include an anonymous response on the page? like when you post their question and their response, can we have a think like where someone can anonymously post a response to their question too? I think that’s be cool and the person would get more advice than from what a group of people can provide (no offence you guys are great). just a suggestion 🙂

– heyo

A: Hey heyo,

So there is a comment section on every article/feature posted on the Tribune website, you have to scroll all they way down to the bottom. It does ask for your name and email, as well as your comment, but technically you don’t have to use your real name? Not sure if that helps, let us know!

Also, I just wanted to add that it isn’t one person writing all these responses. We are a diverse team who strive to give out the best advice and help in any way we can! Usually, (especially when it comes to confusing questions) we chat as a team about what to say. 🙂

Thanks for the question and hope this helps. Have a great day!

– Daniela

Q: My pseudonym is way too obvious but this is what I also go by online so I’ll stick with it. I’m that friend in every group that offers emotional support. I suppose you could say I’m the therapist, but all the pressure it getting to me. I have friends who have attempted suicide, have depression, have insomnia, and eating disorders. There’s even friends who come to me for advice on their dating life, which is weird because I’ve never been on a date. Between all of these people, I feel like I stretch myself too much and almost always live on edge. I’m always waiting for a text from a friend in need, and have the numbers of the suicide hotlines and messaging chats in my contacts. (For example I was on a call with someone for 2 hours today and then another person for one hour.) Most of these people already have therapists, medications and doctors for each of their needs, but they said they prefer speaking to me. So my question is, how can I help these friends, without stressing myself out or losing connection with them? If possible, I would like multiple view points on this topic. (If I don’t know what advice to give someone, can I ask for them here even if they don’t go to DVHS?) 

– King Ava

A: Dear King Ava,

Firstly, genuine kudos to you for being someone who is willing to lend an ear and offer your support to your friends. Empathy is a very admirable trait, but as you’ve already acknowledged, it can lead to you feeling worn out and stretched too thin.

I honestly think the most you can do is communicate how you are feeling to your friends – you have cared for them, so it’s only right that they understand how you feel and that they are considerate of that too. You can tell them that you always want to support them, but because you are invested in their welfare and mental health it can stress you out sometimes. As you’re both aware, these are heavy topics, and you’re going to be affected by them because you care deeply about your friends. You can tell them that you need a little bit of space, or that sometimes you may need to take some time before responding if they text you. Emphasize that you don’t want to push them away, and that you don’t blame them for sharing, but that you also need time to recharge. It is because you care about them that you need the space, not that you find them annoying or that you don’t want to support them anymore.

A tentative suggestion, as I don’t know if you’re friends have the means to do this now – but maybe you can suggest to them that they try to find another therapist. Clients and a given therapist won’t always “click” right away (or at all), so it’s important to search for a professional who does suit their needs. I know your friends trust you a lot, and that’s a good thing, but the trained professional is the most important resource for their struggles with their mental health. It’s critical that they feel this person is helping them and that they are comfortable speaking to that person, and that they have a reliable source for professional support. It helps both you and your friends to have a strong therapist – the pressure is eased off of you, and they are having a resource that is trained to provide professional treatment and support.

Ultimately, while I very much admire your ability to be highly empathetic and very willing to help in any way that you can, the task of helping your friends does not fall solely on you. While it is absolutely okay to care for your friends and be concerned about them and support them, you do not deserve to constantly feel anxious or stressed. This is not that your friends are “bad” or “a burden” for sharing with you and seeking your support – I say “deserve” just in the sense that you, as a person, deserve happiness.

Best of luck to you, and take care of yourself. You have my support!

Taylor

Hey King Ava,

I think you should start to prioritize yourself a little bit more. Not trying to sound selfish here, but sometimes it’s just as important to put yourself before others. If you feel that helping out your friends is starting to affect you negatively, then you should focus on yourself for a little while. You shouldn’t feel guilty about not being there for your friends 24/7 as you obviously have your own life to take care of. It sounds like your friends have people that they can turn to, so if you’re not available, at least they won’t be completely alone. You should continue helping out your friends of course, but do it to the extent of your own comfort level. If it starts to get too much, just remember that it’s not your responsibility to be at their beck and call.

Also yes, you can ask us for advice to give to a non-DVHS student. We’d be more than happy to answer your questions and to help you out. 🙂

Hope this helps,
Caroline

Q: Hi Tribune! Recently a person in my class hates me out of no where. Sometimes this person is chill and sometimes this person gives me the silent treatment. Tbh. I dont even know how to work with this person if this person is hating me out of nowhere. Please help. Thank you. 

– A Fan

A: Dear A Fan,

I’m so sorry that this situation is happening to you— it sounds like those interactions can get really negative.

Firstly, remember that if someone’s interactions with you change so rapidly and so often, it’s likely their problems lie with someone or something else and you’re just getting the brunt of their anger. However, it also may be that you could have made them upset without realizing that you did. While I think the first is more likely, you should keep both of situations in mind when you interact with this person in the future.

I don’t think you should ask around why or if that person is mad at you, because that may make your situation more complex and intense than it has to be. In the case you may be reading too much into their behavior, you may end up making a mountain out of a molehill and unnecessarily get people involved.

I think that if you can muster up the courage (because sometimes it’s difficult), you should just ask them about it in an one-on-one setting. Just go up to them and say, “Hey, I’ve noticed I’ve been getting a weird vibe from you recently. Is there anything I’ve done to make you upset or uncomfortable?” I think if you’re straightforward about the entire thing, the problem won’t escalate and the other person will be respectful of the way you’ve addressed the situation.

It may come out that the person simply misinterpreted an interaction between you two  or maybe they just have that off-putting of a demeanor all the time and with everyone. If that person brings up a valid reason why they’re upset with you, you can address that as well. However, given the fact that they tend to swing between liking and disliking you, I’d reckon that the problem is on their side, not yours.

And maybe most importantly: you can’t please everyone. You’ll know thousands and thousands of people over the course of your life, and some will like you and some won’t. Don’t worry yourself too much about this one person; focus on the positive interactions you have with people in your life. Sure, someone may glare at you across the classroom once in a while, but that’s not ultimately going to play a large role in your life.

Best of luck!

Oce