Siblings consume the position of being the headache creators, the snack thieves and the relentless copycats. Throughout the last 15 years, my sister has perfected all three of these roles, leaving me with an endless list of daily disturbances to deal with. To outsiders, like my mom, these everyday battles might seem harmless, but living with her has made me realize that being related to someone doesn’t mean that you should automatically like them, especially if they are as annoying as her.
Family love is not given, but rather, it is earned over time. However, for 73% of Americans, family is one of the most important aspects of their life, and it represents unconditional love. The idea of family is simple: a group of two or more people who are bound by love or marriage. But family is more than just a legal or biological connection, as it represents a sense of belonging and identity for some.
This idea is reinforced in our entertainment industry with movies, TV shows, and even TV commercials emphasizing family as the ideal source of comfort and belonging. For example, movies or shows like “Modern Family” or “Encanto” reinforce the idea that family is supposedly some perfect, unbreakable bond where everyone gets along despite any small conflicts along the way. Other examples include “Full House” and “The Incredibles,” which highlight the same message: no matter how many challenges might appear, family is a source of unconditional love and unity.
With media and social media constantly portraying family as picture-perfect, it is easy to forget that real families are often far from flawless. These ideal families never capture the more subtle memories like those the arguments over small things, constant annoyances and other lingering tensions after a quarrel. However, we need to understand that these struggles are a natural part of family life.
Outside of commercials and movie screens, real families are not so perfect. Siblings, in particular, have the most complicated relationships, as they are usually the most competitive and conflict-filled. According to Psychology Today, around 85% of siblings are verbally aggressive, and around 40% are physically aggressive. These numbers show that sibling relationships are far less exemplary than the picture-perfect bonds we see in our entertainment industry. Growing up with someone who steals your belongings, argues with you for the smallest reasons and is overall annoying can make it hard to feel the “unconditional love” that society often assumes comes with family bonds.
Despite the benefits that family can sometimes provide, family relationships can also be a major source of stress. Constant conflicts between siblings can become overwhelming and tiring. Family arguments are usually caused due to personality clashes, differing values, past grievances, or everyday irritations. These challenges show that not all family connections are automatic and they require effort to flourish.
However, not all family relationships are so negative. Research shows that siblings, sisters in particular, boost our mental health, help improve our social skills and give us the confidence to be more independent. These positive effects demonstrate that family can also provide emotional support and a foundation for personal growth. Many people experience these benefits, which reinforces the idea that family relationships are valuable and meaningful. I mean, it is nice to have someone help you with your chemistry homework once in a while. Still, it is important to remember that these advantages don’t come just because you are related, but rather through mutual respect, effort and usually, patience.
Though my sister can do countless rude things to me, these daily nuisances have taught me a lot about patience, boundaries and the fact that being related does not mean that you automatically love someone. Our relationship is complicated, full of small betrayals and arguments fueled over who ate the last ice cream bar, but it also shows that family is not always the idealized source of unconditional love that the entertainment industry makes it out to be.
While movies, commercials and even popular opinions might tell us that family is everything, my endless sibling rivalries contradict this idea. Being related to someone does not mean you automatically love them or that they love you in return. Family love is just like loyalty in friendship: it is earned, not granted and that is what makes it more meaningful.
